


Order In The Court

by snowflakeimagines



Series: Meet Ugly Specials [11]
Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Swapfell (Undertale), Misunderstandings, Multi, Reader's gender is not specified, Suggestive Themes, Swapfell Papyrus (Undertale), Swapfell Sans (Undertale), meet ugly
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-16
Updated: 2020-12-16
Packaged: 2021-03-11 05:20:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,113
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28109985
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/snowflakeimagines/pseuds/snowflakeimagines
Summary: Papyrus thinks you had a one-night stand with Sans. You, too, think he had a one-night stand with someone. Neither of you are correct.
Relationships: Papyrus (Undertale)/Reader, Sans (Undertale)/Reader
Series: Meet Ugly Specials [11]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2057940
Comments: 4
Kudos: 60





	Order In The Court

**Author's Note:**

> itsyaborg asked: I'm gonna ask another sorry- [27. we had one-night stands with roommates and sneak out of the house at the same time] with Swapfell Papyrus thank you thank you thank you again your writing is hilarious and sweet
> 
> I am once again bending the prompt… I think the fic worked better this way. Or at least I hope it did!

“ALL HEALED,” Sans declared. He took his hands off your head only to smack the back of it immediately after. “I KNOW THIS IS ASKING HIGHLY OF YOU, BUT KINDLY BE MORE CAREFUL AS TO NOT HIT YOUR HEAD AGAIN. YOU’RE LUCKY THAT THIS HAPPENED IN MY HOUSE. HAD YOU BEEN IN PUBLIC WITHOUT ME, YOU WOULD’VE PASSED OUT.”

You beamed. “Aww! You do care about me!”

“YEAH, NO. MARRYING YOU OFF WOULD BE EVEN HARDER IF YOU LOST YOUR LAST REMAINING BRAIN CELLS FROM HEAD TRAUMA.”

“Brain cells! Plural! That’s a step up from when you said I only had one!”

“I TAKE IT BACK. I SHOULD’VE KNOWN FROM THE HOLLOW SOUND YOUR HEAD MADE THAT THERE’S NOTHING IN THERE BUT AIR.”

“Then maybe you’re down on a few brain cells too, you grump.”

“JUST GET OUT OF MY HOUSE, WILL YOU?

“Okay, okay!” you said, laughing. You started gathering your things. Something was missing, though. “Hey, I think I left my phone in your room.”

“I’LL GET IT. I’M NOT LETTING YOU IN MY ROOM AFTER THE DISPLAY OF MOTOR SKILLS YOU JUST PUT ON.” Sans was already walking up the stairs before you could protest. You feel like he would’ve thrown in a hair toss if he had hair to toss. Drama king. Still smiling, you shook your head and turned around, smacking right into someone’s chest. Hmm. Smells sweet.

Wait, what?

You stepped back and slowly looked up. The skeleton whose chest your face was just in blinked owlishly at you. “Hi,” you said after a good ten seconds of silence.

The skeleton smiled softly at you. “hi,” he said. His voice was quiet and slightly raspy. “are you my brother’s mate?”

Oh! This skeleton must be Sans’ brother, Papyrus! You’ve never really spoken to him before, unless the occasional messages from Sans like “PAPYRUS SAYS HI” and “PAPYRUS SAYS HE LIKES THAT TOO” counted. As far as you could tell, he was a total sweetheart. 

A total sweetheart who had just assumed that you were in a romantic relationship with Sans. Uh oh.

You chuckled and waved your hand. “I’m not. I’m just his friend.”

“it’s okay. you don’t have to be shy. i can smell his magic on you.” Papyrus took your hand in his gently. “please, treat my brother well.”

“Okay, uh… Papyrus, right? I’m not your brother’s mate. He was using magic to heal me.” You really didn’t want to do this. Sans would just have to take one for the team this time. “He can explain the rest to you. Sorry, I kind of have to go, so…”

“heal ya? gee, he must’ve been real rough with ya… but why’re you leavin’ so soon?” Papyrus tilted his head like a lost puppy. It felt like a crime, seeing something so cute while talking about something so wrong. “are… are you just a one-night stand?”

“I’m sorry, _what?”_ you sputtered. “ _You’re_ the one who smells like you had a one-night stand! You’re practically covered in perfume!”

Papyrus’ cheekbones flushed orange. “i—”

“MY BROTHER HAD A ONE-NIGHT STAND?” 

Both you and Papyrus shut up immediately. Sans was standing at the bottom of the stairs, a massive smirk on his face. He cocked his hip. “MY, MY, BROTHER. A ONE-NIGHT STAND? I DIDN’T TAKE YOU AS SOMEONE TO… BLOW YOUR SKEET THEN HIT THAT YEET, AS THE KIDS SAY.” Oh god, where the hell did he learn that?

“i-i didn’t— i never—!”

“AHA! STUTTERING AND BLUSHING! SO YOU _DID_ FUCK SOMEONE!”

“i didn’t! here, smell! no one’s scent is on me!”

“EW, I’M NOT SNIFFING YOU! I’M STILL SCARRED FROM THE MOLDY PACKET OF BARBECUE SAUCE I FOUND IN YOUR HOODIE LAST WEEK! WHO KNOWS WHAT ELSE YOU’RE HARBORING IN THERE!”

“that packet was a one time thing! there’s nothin’ in here!” You were quite sure you heard Papyrus mumble “i think” after saying that, but you kept your mouth closed. 

“ONLY BECAUSE YOU KNEW NO ONE WOULD WANT TO SLEEP WITH YOU IF THEY SAW SOMETHING THAT NASTY ON YOUR JACKET!” Sans’ smirk returned. “STILL, BROTHER, I’M PROUD OF YOU. YOU’RE A MAN NOW.”

“i, uh… i thought i was always a man, but… th-that’s not the point. i wasn’t sleepin’ with anyone! aren’t you the one who was having a one-night stand? i can smell your magic on your human.”

“EXCUSE ME— MY HUMAN?” Sans made a gagging noise. “I USED GREEN MAGIC ON THEIR HEAD, YOU IDIOT! ME? WITH THE LIKES OF— EUGH!” He turned to you. “NO OFFENSE. BROTHER, THE THOUGHT REPULSES ME!” He turned back to you. “AGAIN, NO OFFENSE.”

“None taken,” you said, highly amused by their little back and forth.

“i wasn’t having a one-night stand!” Papyrus turned to you as well. “a-and that wasn’t perfume on me. that was just the smell of pastries! i… i was at muffet’s…”

Sans stomped his foot. “YOU WERE AT _MUFFET’S?!_ I THOUGHT I TOLD YOU NO MORE MUFFET’S FOR AT LEAST A WEEK!”

“i-i couldn’t help it! they had a little blackboard on the shopfront announcin’ a new product, and it had this eclair-lookin’ thing drawn under it, a-and i just had to try it, and stars it was sooo good and chocolaty…” Papyrus trailed off, a dopey smile spreading across his face. It was downright adorable.

“I DON’T CARE HOW GOOD AND CHOCOLATY IT WAS! YOU ALMOST ATE YOURSELF INTO A COMA THE LAST TIME THERE WAS A NEW PRODUCT RELEASED AT MUFFET’S!” Sans buried his face in his hands, muttering something incoherent before he looked up and shoved your phone at you. “PLEASE JUST GO BEFORE I LOSE IT.” 

“Of course. Catch you later.” You walked out of his house, closed the door behind you, and went straight over to the nearest window so you could listen in on the rest of the conversation. 

Sans had one hand on his hip and one finger pointed at Papyrus, looking very much like a disappointed grandma. “SINCE YOU LIKE YOUR CHOCOLATE SOOO MUCH, YOU’RE NOT GETTING ANY FOR A MONTH!”

“a month?!” Papyrus whimpered. “c-can i at least still have my weekly hot chocolate?”

“NO! NO CHOCOLATE PERIOD!”

“please, sans?”

“NO MEANS NO! YOU’RE NOT WEASELING YOUR WAY OUT OF— OH, DON’T YOU DARE GIVE ME PUPPY DOG EYELIGHTS RIGHT NOW!”

“please?”

Sans tilted his skull back and stared up at the ceiling. “I AM LOOKING AWAY, I DO NOT SEE IT—”

“pleeeaaaase?”

You took out your phone and started recording. You didn’t know much about Papyrus, but if blackmail would help that sweet soul get his chocolate, you were going to get as much dirt on Sans’ weaknesses as you could.

**Author's Note:**

> god i think this is the most stupid meet ugly so far...... NO REGRETS IT WAS SO FUN DSFKKDFJJKLD
> 
> (Find me and my other works on [Tumblr!](https://snowflakeimagines.tumblr.com))


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